When I was in Boston a few years ago, doing a show at the Huntington, I joined a boxing gym to work out at.  I was there three months and boxed for the last two.  I had no aspirations to be a boxer; I was just looking for something different from my usual gym routine.  I got exactly what I was looking for.  Boxing training is fantastic.  I very quickly came to enjoy the physical and mental battles that you fight wile training.

Fast-forward four years.  I haven’t boxed since.  But I kept my gear and it’s one of things that floats around in the “need to do that” file in the back of my head.

I recently found myself in the same position I was in leading up to Boston; I needed a change from my weekly gym routine.  So I grabbed my gear and signed up for a month at Gleason’s Gym in Brooklyn.  Gleason’s is the real deal.  There’s nothing glamorous about the facility; except for its tradition and the “world champion” banners that hang around the gym.  And they are plentiful.  Gleason’s has had many great fighters drop blood and sweat on it’s floor.

I got a trainer to work with me for the month; Martine.  Martine is a fun loving, no bullshit, pit-bull of a man.  His hands are like bricks.  He’s got professional trainers moving up in the ranks who he works with throughout the day.  He trains them hard and treats me no different.

Martine focuses on technical proficiency and hitting hard.  As we were working today, I was reminded, repeatedly, of the frustration of trying too hard.  This is something I encountered heavily through my first two years of grad school. (I had a breakthrough going into my third year that helped me overcome that.  That’s another story.)  For me, trying too hard is the result if trying to do something right. The ‘trying’ then manifests itself in tension and holding.  Both of which are death for the actor and boxer.

So here I am, hitting the mitts with Martine.  ”Relax, relax, relax” he tells me over and over again.  He gives me some adjustments in my stance and tells me to stop leaning in to the punches.  ”Turn the body, not lean.”  I take his advice and TRY to implement it.  I get tight, trying to hold my feet in proper position while holding my body back to prevent the leaning.  This gets an immediate response of “relax, relax, relax.”

My internal frustration is building as I ask myself “how can I hit hard and relax at the same time?  How can I prevent leaning forward without holding?”  Martine continues, “relax, relax, relax.”  I’m growing more furious with each “relax” that comes out of his mouth.  The, something clicks in my head and I tell myself “fuck it.”  I immediately drop my shoulders, move with fluidity, and throw a left, right that pops the mitts and makes Martine’s eye widen.  He steps back for a second, says “thank you” and then “one, two.”  TRYING to replicate what I just did, I tense up, holding on to the past and throw a left, right that gets a quick “relax, relax, relax.”  And that quickly it’s gone and I’m searching again.

Later, when I was left to the solitude of jumping rope, my mind was racing: How can I relax and work technically and hit hard?  I don’t have an answer, but I have the feeling of doing it for a few fleeting punches here and there.  It is possible to hit hard and be relaxed while doing it.  In fact it’s necessary.

As I was jumping away my mind made the association to the feeling I had during the first two years of grad school.  That frustration of trying to implement an acting note.  Similarly, this TRYING was met with a similar response: “more ease, more ease.”  Like the boxer, how does the actor do something without the tension that comes with TRYING to do it?  And for me, again, the solution is “fuck it.”

Maybe tomorrow when I’m jumping rope I’ll find some inspiration to articulate what “fuck it” means.

JB

I had the unique opportunity to go from the Cherry Orchard Smash and Grab straight into a shakespeare play at a regional theatre.  It gave me a great amount of perspective jumping from the chaos of the Smash and Grab into the precision of Shakespeare.

For me, the greatest lesson created in the friction between the two was this:  The structure of Shakespeare’s language can hold the recklessness of the Smash and Grab acting style.  In fact, I think it needs it.  Meaning, if you fall into the rigidity of the language, you’re dead.  The actor needs to have invested in that language, and needs to have done his homework, but he also needs to have the playfulness and the spontaneity of the Smash and Grab.

This realization manifested itself this way:  I don’t get very nervous before shows.  I get the occasional butterfly, but I believe that if you’ve prepared and given everything you have to the rehearsal process, you have nothing to be nervous about.  So, given that I will get the occasional butterfly going into a traditional performance, I was expecting to be infinitely more nervous going into performances for the Smash and Grab.  As it turned out, I wasn’t nervous at all.  Not in the least bit.  And I realized why, as I stood in the wings waiting for my first entrance into the first performance of Romeo and Juliet.  In a Smash and Grab, there is nothing to get right and therefore, more importantly, NOTHING TO GET WRONG.  No marks to miss.  No blocking to forget.  No timing that has been worked out….

It is here that the Smash and Grab attitude can have it’s greatest effect on a traditional process: there must be nothing to ‘get wrong’ in any performance.  Even though you’ve spent three weeks as a company painstakingly working everything out, there can be no fear of messing it up.  And this can only happen when the group agrees to it as a whole.  So that there’s no conversation afterward about “I missed that” or “You forgot the letter” or anything along those lines.  What ever happens is a gift.  An adventure to be had by both the actors and the audience.

Now, everyone says this going into production, but they never work on it, and they never try and find a group mindset to allow it.  This will be a goal when I direct Bridesburg in the spring.  I’m not sure how to go about it, but it must be found.  Lets have an adventure….

JB